I talk a lot about my chosen family. In Mariluz's case, she chose us and, even after a full year in the insanity that was the Wheat household, she chose to stay in touch. I guess what doesn't kill you... :-) Sharing a room, and a high school, and a beatup VW Rabbit with her for a year was just about the last time that I remember gladly sharing anything with anyone. She was, and is, smart, funny, up for just about anything. All qualities that I adore and aspire to.
(just a sample of the tornado the two of us always were..)
It brings me such peace to hear Mariluz's account of my Mom - "Mom Marie" as she calls her. I'm aware of the tendency to canonize the ones we've loved and lost too soon, so I'm wary of remembering my Mom as this flawless, all-amazing-all-the-time woman. And then, invariably, someone will come along and tell a similar story. Oft repeated are stories of times when she, plain and simple, paid someone attention. Her ability to tune everyone and everything else out, to focus on whatever was important to YOU at the moment, was astounding. She noticed unspoken things and always remembered to act on the little details that made the most impact. (The Monkey Mold anyone??)
Perhaps her most lasting impression though was how she made us each feel, especially as kids and teenagers. She taught at my Jr.Hi (que horror!) and therefore came into contact with and influenced all of my friends and classmates (even if only to catch them chewing gum in her library...). Years later, upon hearing of her death, my friend Wendy put it best -- "Your Mom believed in me at times when I felt no one did."
That's exactly it. Whatever her faults in life, whatever choices or sacrifices Mom may have made that I didn't understand or agree with... she always, always believed in me at times when I felt no one did.
Full stop.
Feliz Dia de la Madre Mom - I miss you and I love you and I'm doing my very best to remember all the many layers to you. Bear with me as I tend to focus on the bits that made you a veritable super-hero, I'm just trying to keep up.
I can't believe I'm reading this beautiful post four days later -on a borrowed laptop- until I get mine again.
ReplyDeleteJust a couple of notes: I didn't actually get to choose your family...but I'm so glad someone at the AFS exchange student program thought we were a good match...that's just one of the reasons I`ve kept in touch.
I will always celebrate the fact that I am part of the Wheat family and Mom Marie has a very special place in my heart: I miss her too!
Regarding the photo....c`mon! we weren't *always* such a tornado!...I think I was packing to go back to Costa Rica and that's why all my stuff was spread everywhere! What I love about that picture? We're dressed in the same style...which is a reminder for me that you influenced me too! Love you, Cari!